Do you ever feel lost in motherhood? 5 ways to get your ”self” back!

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I want to discuss something personal today, something a lot of moms experience, and that’s the feeling of loss for your sense of self.

What I mean by this is that sometimes you can forget what it feels like to be alone, or to slow down and sit in silence and take a few deep breaths. Chasing a toddler around feels like you are moving and thinking and acting a mile a minute.

The love you have for your child is all consuming, and we let it do just that, consume us. Not in a bad way, that’s who we are as women and mothers. But at least for me if I’m not careful to check in with Natalie, I start to feel overwhelmed by my life.

I’m around moms every single day because I teach Stroller Strides which is a workout class for moms, you can read more HERE, and we always joke about the last time we shaved our legs or got a manicure. But those things are important, maybe not the leg shaving so much, but the other stuff that we used to do alone that made us feel good before we had a baby.

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I woke up yesterday and I felt overwhelmed and I felt almost like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what was happening and then through tears I realized I’m the furthest away from myself I think I’ve ever been. 

I just wanted to be alone, not forever but for a few hours to just do nothing or go to the store without a 30 pounder on my hip or pulling things off the shelves. I had been neglecting that self care aspect I preach so much about.

I called my husband and within 20 minutes he was at our front door with a venti iced coffee (bc yes he’s that amazing) and I felt relief in telling him I needed a break from Jack.

I had been feeling so guilty for feeling this way... I wouldn’t trade staying home with Jack for the world, but I just needed some time alone. And that is ok, it’s ok to need a break.

Taking a break for yourself to get recharged I think helps make you a better mother.

I put together my top 5 “Alone Time” things to do to recharge:

  1. Meditate for 5-10 minutes during nap time: Seriously though, sit down on the floor in your bedroom and take a few deep breaths in and out with your eyes closed. This will totally ground you and fill you back up.
  2. Take a bubble bath: I love to sometimes get an iced coffee and then put Jack down for his nap and take a hot bubble bath while I drink my cold coffee...In the evening replace coffee with wine, duh. 
  3. Go for a walk alone: When is the last time you walked anywhere or dare I say, ran, without pushing a damn stroller?? It's so liberating and it releases those feel good endorphins. 
  4. Meet a girlfriend alone for coffee: YES. Even driving to meet a friend for coffee baby free is fun because you can blast music and then you can actually sit and drink coffee without chasing a child. It's a great way to connect with your peers, just incase you forgot, your peers aren't 2 feet tall. 
  5. Do your hair and makeup even if it’s just to run to the store, do something that makes you feel pretty, ya know like take the yoga pants off and put a pair of jeans on. I try to put on my makeup each day because I love it and it makes me feel good, even if my hair is a mess, my eyebrows are are poppin! 

I hope you enjoyed!! What do you do to check back in with yourself and stay grounded? 

 

xoxox

-Natalie