I want to discuss something personal today, something a lot of moms experience, and that’s the feeling of loss for your sense of self.
What I mean by this is that sometimes you can forget what it feels like to be alone, or to slow down and sit in silence and take a few deep breaths. Chasing a toddler around feels like you are moving and thinking and acting a mile a minute.
The love you have for your child is all consuming, and we let it do just that, consume us. Not in a bad way, that’s who we are as women and mothers. But at least for me if I’m not careful to check in with Natalie, I start to feel overwhelmed by my life.
I’m around moms every single day because I teach Stroller Strides which is a workout class for moms, you can read more HERE, and we always joke about the last time we shaved our legs or got a manicure. But those things are important, maybe not the leg shaving so much, but the other stuff that we used to do alone that made us feel good before we had a baby.
I woke up yesterday and I felt overwhelmed and I felt almost like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what was happening and then through tears I realized I’m the furthest away from myself I think I’ve ever been.
I just wanted to be alone, not forever but for a few hours to just do nothing or go to the store without a 30 pounder on my hip or pulling things off the shelves. I had been neglecting that self care aspect I preach so much about.
I called my husband and within 20 minutes he was at our front door with a venti iced coffee (bc yes he’s that amazing) and I felt relief in telling him I needed a break from Jack.
I had been feeling so guilty for feeling this way... I wouldn’t trade staying home with Jack for the world, but I just needed some time alone. And that is ok, it’s ok to need a break.
Taking a break for yourself to get recharged I think helps make you a better mother.
I put together my top 5 “Alone Time” things to do to recharge:
- Meditate for 5-10 minutes during nap time: Seriously though, sit down on the floor in your bedroom and take a few deep breaths in and out with your eyes closed. This will totally ground you and fill you back up.
- Take a bubble bath: I love to sometimes get an iced coffee and then put Jack down for his nap and take a hot bubble bath while I drink my cold coffee...In the evening replace coffee with wine, duh.
- Go for a walk alone: When is the last time you walked anywhere or dare I say, ran, without pushing a damn stroller?? It's so liberating and it releases those feel good endorphins.
- Meet a girlfriend alone for coffee: YES. Even driving to meet a friend for coffee baby free is fun because you can blast music and then you can actually sit and drink coffee without chasing a child. It's a great way to connect with your peers, just incase you forgot, your peers aren't 2 feet tall.
- Do your hair and makeup even if it’s just to run to the store, do something that makes you feel pretty, ya know like take the yoga pants off and put a pair of jeans on. I try to put on my makeup each day because I love it and it makes me feel good, even if my hair is a mess, my eyebrows are are poppin!
I hope you enjoyed!! What do you do to check back in with yourself and stay grounded?