The Things We Swore We'd Never Do As Parents

 Photo:  Marife Albay  

Photo: Marife Albay 

Ahh the things we said pre baby, compared to the things we do now, post baby. I can recall my former self judging other moms, and making myself promises about what I’ll never do when Jack is born, and so on and so on… Well shit happens and sometimes you need a damn break, and if that break comes in the form of an ipad for 15 F***ing minutes, so you can not make peanut butter and jelly for dinner (for the 3rd night in a row) then the ipad it is. I swore I’d never give Jack sugar, like not even a taste, but I have. I swore I’d never let him sleep in the bed with us, but I do for an extra hour of sleep probably 4 days a week. I swore he’d never watch cartoons, Peppa Pig is now a household name here.

I recently saw a mom in my facebook feed ask if it was ok that she lets her child watch 30 minutes of a movie so she can get something done. My heart went out to her, because she knows the answer, of course it’s ok, but she needed the reassurance. And low and behold the first person to write back to her said, “ignore them long enough and they will learn to play alone.”... well you can call me a judgy bitch all day long because as a mother, it’s hard to “ignore” your child, even if they’re being super annoying.

It’s hard to go back on the things you swore you’d never do. I legitimately swore I would never let Jack look at a screen of any kind, but then he started walking, and then running, and then touching everything he could get his hands on. Of course this is totally fine and I encourage him to explore the world around him. Sometimes I need my little tornado still for 20 minutes so I can return emails or make food, or hell, go to the BATHROOM.

I have also considered getting Jack one of those backpack harness leash things. Honestly if you start seeing me walking my 18 month old don’t judge. I think those things are genius. Jack is fast and he’s curious and he doesn’t mind falling or tripping to get where he’s going. I want to let him roam free, but I also don’t want to lose him, is that so bad??

Recently Jack has really started to hate being in his stroller, which is fine except I teach STROLLER strides 3 days a week. I kinda need him to stay in his stroller and not act like the exorcist. This is when I had my moment of “oh now I get it”. As the instructor I can’t stop class every 2 minutes because my child is crying to get out of the stroller. So I downloaded some learning apps and locked the home button and gave him the ipad. I was able to make it through teaching my hour long class for the first time in a long time without him losing his mind. So, I get it! It really did pain me inside that I broke my made up rule about “no screens” just like it pained me to “give in” and get the epidural which you can read more on here. But at the end of the day, we are all moms doing the best we can to raise kind loving humans, while trying not have a manic episode and lose our sanity.

So next time you feel like you’re letting yourself down for bending a rule you swore you’d never… just give yourself some grace and know that it’s ok, we are all doing it.

I am not here to judge you, I’m actually considering putting my kid on a leash. So be free and be you! Parent in a way that makes you happy and brings you #allthequiettime

Obviously “screen time” can get out of control and should never be used to parent for you, but I don’t see the harm in a quick 20 minute distraction so you can get something done.