Lately I have really been feeling like I need long hair, like not wanting to wait for my actual hair to grow but getting some fake hair, like a weave or clip in extensions.
I keep seeing all these beautiful girls with long wavy hair and it had me thirsty for some locks of my own. So I drove 40 minutes to a wig shop (yes, a wig shop that was located next to the Hooters I worked at in college-sigh) and got fitted for some clip in extensions. As soon as she put the tester extensions in to see if I liked it I felt fucking ridiculous. Like who was I trying to be? I certainly didn’t feel like myself, but I told myself I am sure I’d get used to them and they would look cute when I curled them.
Umm can we just quickly take a moment to realize that clip in extensions have to be taken out each night and then cared for just like your own hair...I’m a mom the last thing I need is to wash another person’s damn hair!! But I bought them.
I was driving the 40 minutes back home and was just feeling so uneasy about my latest purchase. I had to listen to my intuition and so I called the hair shop and cancelled my order and they were SO NICE and it was no problem. I felt immediate relief. Immediate.
I had to ask myself why was I obsessing over not looking like myself, why wasn’t I happy with the hair I had? Honestly, I am happy with my hair, it’s good hair. I was (in typical Natalie fashion) wanting an immediate change for something. I am guilty of wanting something and wanting it now, in all areas of my life.
I really had to have a “come to Jesus” moment and take a step back and give gratitude for what I have now. Do you ever do this? I think often we can look at someone and wish we had their hair, or their butt, or their workout top! But will it complete us and make us happy once we get it? probably not.
We have to give ourselves a little grace and look at all the things about us that we do love and that we are blessed with.
My damn hair will grow if I would just hold the F on a minute. The impatience and dissatisfaction can sometimes eat at us and rule our days instead of all of the positives that should be filling up our day.
As mother’s we can sometimes get lost so deep in the motherhood that our mojo is nowhere to be found. I was definitely feeling that in this whole hair debacle. We are mothers and we may not always have our hair on fleek (as the kids are saying) or our eyeliner winged, but we are doing the BEST we can and we are making memories that can never be replaced.
Accept who you are now, no matter the shape or size or hair length. Where you are right now, this very moment is exactly where you are supposed to be.
Love you Mama!