When your child turns one and you have a meltdown

Words honestly leave me and nothing but tears seem to come and come and come. I never in a million years thought that as my child's first birthday approaches I would literally have a meltdown.

The other night my husband and I were laying in bed and I was reading my “What to expect in the first year” book and it was talking about weaning from breastfeeding. I started crying so hard and he was half asleep but sprung straight up and was like “are you ok?”.

Some days I find myself super happy and some days I am just a mess. I know I can't be the only one right?

 Isn't it crazy having children and what that does to you? It brings you to the rawest place of emotion that you never knew existed. I love my husband but the love you have for your child is something that is unexplainable.

What an amazing gift it is to be able to watch your child be born and watch them develop through their first year of life, so much happens in that first year.

 All of the sleepless nights, the lack of personal space, and all of the empty bottles of wine that were finished by 4 PM were totally worth it.

Becoming a mother is a truly humbling experience and it tests your patience in a way you never knew patience could be tested .

 In dealing with this roller coaster of emotion I have found it to be super helpful to feel all the feels. Cry if you feel like crying go through all the pictures, talk about it with your husband until he can't take it anymore, do whatever it is that you need to do to remember that first year of life.

 Then it's time to pull your shit together and get excited for all the future memories to come!!

 That’s the best part it’s not over it really is just beginning. I never knew motherhood was going to be so full of emotions but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 And really quickly can we talk about the pressure to throw your baby a freaking rager for their first birthday? I mean let’s be real, this kid is not going to remember that you got a photo booth and rented a pony. BUT before you get offended I too, fell into the trap of the 1 year old b-day extravaganza. I however, am keeping it short and sweet literally and figuratively. Mimosa bar for the parents and donuts for the kids. And you can bet your little ass I have been pinning cute mimosa bar ideas for weeks. (roll eyes).

 I’d love to hear what you did for your baby’s first birthday or how you dealt with the emotions that come along with them turning one.

 Love ya mama



Photos by Ernie & Fiona