Are You A Judgmental Mom?
Aren’t we all?
Have you ever started a sentence with "I'm not trying to judge her but… " it's like, “hello!” you are judging her, or else you wouldn't have started the sentence with “I'm not trying to judge her”.
Isn't it kinda hard not to judge other moms? I mean really though, we all say, "oh I'm totally not judgmental about how the way other moms choose to parent", but the second you see another mom bust out some hot Cheetos and feed them to her child, you're immediately thinking "oh my God I would never do that how can she do that?".
It's almost like a sickness, you don't want to pass judgment but you immediately do. I know that despite my best effort I've been totally guilty of doing this and I don't like it. It's so hard to be a mom, and to parent, and try to do what is best. There are so many methods for doing things, for example, cry it out, not cry it out. I remember telling a girlfriend that I was going to do the cry it out method and she was shocked. She couldn't even believe that I would let my baby cry and not immediately tend to him.
When your child is five months old and they're nursing constantly and you haven't slept for more than two hours in half a year... I was ready to let this kid cry for as long as it took so that I could have peace of mind and feel sane again. That is what I had to do for me. That's where I think we all have to come to an understanding. Every mom is doing what she has to do for herself and her child. We may not agree with it, and we may never think that we would ever do something like that for our child, but she's not wrong just like we’re not wrong.
There's 1 million different ways to parent I'm sure the way that each of us were brought up wasn't 100% perfect. For some of us less than ideal but we made it out ok, and we have been given this beautiful opportunity to raise a child how we see fit. We get to instill in them the morals, love, and values that we care about. If we do a really good job that child will grow up and show compassion and love and care for other people, and to not pass judgment (hopefully).
I think with everything going on in the media (and world) it's so important to take a step back instead of quickly jumping to judge somebody else for what they're doing. As moms we need to continue to build this village, this community, where we can support each other, and share different ideas and celebrate the fact that we are all different and there's nothing wrong with that
So the next time you're on the playground and Susan pulls out seaweed snacks for her daughter, and you're wondering why on earth they're not organic...Stop, and take a breath, she's doing the best she can with what she's got and there's nothing wrong with that.