Hey mama, I’m just coming to you from my couch with an ice pack on my neck. I’m so annoyed for like the 80th day in a row to have a sore neck, like really though whhhhyy? It’s so frustrating so any advice on what to do is welcome.
Anyway, I’m totally just typing every thought running through my head as I savor nap time so I can bring you this blog post. Let’s talk spouses shall we?
Do you appreciate your spouse? Like really appreciate them?
I honestly feel like (please don’t barf or unfollow me) I hit the spouse lottery Stefan is pretty close to perfect in the partner in life and dad category. Do I feel that way all the time and repay him with lots of adventurous sex? No.
When you have children or in my case one child, things change a little. Sleep is something you look back on as a distant memory, and sometimes patience wears thin sooner than one would hope.
I’ve been very very guilty of not appreciating my spouse as much as I should. It’s easy to have blinders on when your main focus becomes your child.
But I challenge all of us to start appreciating a little more, and not in the obvious “Thanks for providing and letting me stay home…”. No, I’m talking about letting them know they did a good job when they swaddled the baby, or they did a good job washing the kiddos hair. Even though you may be like me, a total control freak and feel that no one will do as good a job as you… still show them that you appreciate them.
I’ve found that when I start doing this it comes back to me. There’s a lot more positive encouraging statements being exchanged instead of bitching. Nobody loves a good bitchfest more than me but there’s nothing good that comes of it.
Having children puts a different vibe on a relationship and if we’re not careful to nurture it with kindness things can get real sour real fast.
I am no relationship expert ( like at all) but I have found through experience that our significant others want to know they’re doing a good job too.
These 3 things work best for me and may seem like no brainers.
If you have different ones please share!
1. Pick your battles:
This is a hard one to actually stick to but it’s so worth it in terms of the longevity of your relationship. Ask yourself “Is this really that important to argue over?”
2. Let them know they’re doing a great job/encouragement:
With the kids/baby. Who doesn’t like a little confidence boost!? Usually they will defer to us so when we get a chance to praise them it really means a lot.
3. Ask yourself is this about them or about me?
Maybe you’ve had a long day at home alone with a crazy toddler and your patience are gone, but you notice right before your spouse gets home they left a dirty sock out. Do you start a fight because they deserve it or is it you just feeling frustrated from the day? I know in my relationship this takes practice for me :)
I hope that was helpful and served as a pleasant reminder that appreciation goes both ways!
Till next time!!