I want to talk about modern day motherhood and all of the pressure that is put on moms in today’s society. If I’m being totally honest I think a lot of the pressure we put on ourselves is to really just impress other moms.
It’s F-ing crazy.
The other day I was at an event and there were other moms there and Jack was out in the sun...have you seen Jack, the kid needs sunblock even on a cloudy day. All I had in my diaper bag (which is also my purse) was sunscreen from Target that is “natural” that I use on myself when I teach stroller strides outside. I had a moment where I was honestly panicked about what the moms would think if I busted that out and put it on Jack because I wasn’t sure how “clean” the ingredients were. Would they silently judge me? To top it off I only had basic wipes with me that day not my organic wipes, shit! I had to take a moment and tell myself to get a fucking grip I am not going to let my kid get a damn sunburn because I don’t have “special” sunscreen with me. But that’s the type of pressure I’m talking about, it’s wild.
Let's talk Instagram shall we. Before I became a mom and started my blog and my Instagram Themodenmamahood I had no idea that there was this virtual world of moms out there who make their instagram feed their fucking job, in a good way. There are moms everywhere with instagram feeds that look like they just fell out of the pages of Good Housekeeping or something, it’s totally intimidating. I’m over here drinking Chardonnay by 4pm and spelling out F-U-C-K so I can still swear but my toddler won't repeat me.
Obviously everyone can make their life look beautiful and glamorous via photos but if that is what you are seeing when you step into the mom world of instagram it can be a little scary. I’ll never forget when Fawn diaper bags were like the thing to have and rightly so, because they’re super cute but when I looked at the price tag for something that was going to be holding baby wipes and snacks I died a little. But in all honesty I felt like I needed to have one because all the “cool” moms had one and I’m a new mom and don’t want to look like I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
Well, I got over that real fast because I thought if I am going to be judged by what I carry diapers in then I’m all set with those kind of people. So if you see me out with my $19.99 backpack “diaper bag” from Target holler at me.
“Things” can’t define your motherhood or who you are, but I am so guilty of this. It’s kind of like keeping up with the Jonses. We all want cute stuff, on trend stuff, and we want other moms to know it...but does it really matter? I’d say no.
We live in such a social media frenzy of a world that it’s hard not to compare and then feel pressure to perform the same.
There’s a lot of judgement out there that comes along with all of the pressure to be a mom in today’s society as well. For example, how fast can your body bounce back, are you buying the stroller all the other moms have, are you going to give your kid organic fruit, are you buying paraben free fragrance free vegan sunscreen for them to use? Also, do you put on makeup to leave the house and dress really cute and are you having sex with your husband 5 days a week? All the celebrity moms are doing it, and every other mom on social media so… That’s a lot of pressure and as much as we say it doesn’t affect us, it does.
All we can do is show up and be THE best mom to our kids that we know how. If you can’t afford a $150 diaper bag, that’s ok give yourself some grace. You just created and grew a human inside your body and then brought them into this world. We are all trying to do the best we can, and yes it’s natural to want to be liked. March to the beat of your own drum. Not everyone's life is perfect and nor are they the “perfect” mom.
I’d love to see sisterhood and community over competition. I’ve unfortunately dealt with what I’ll call haters, and I am always 100% unapologetic for who I am. I get that I may not be for everyone and that is fine, but I am a really good mom and sometimes a good wife LOL and that’s all I can do.
The pressure to be flawless and have all the cool mom swag is all fluff, there’s no substance there just excess and waste.
I am grateful for you, my reader, and for raising kind compassionate people and for doing the best job YOU can. That is always enough and when that is your focus there’s no pressure.
Love love love ya!